I can’t believe 6 weeks have passed ...and a job opportunity has arisen for assistant country manager for the NGO and I have a very good probability of getting it. They have discussed it with me and want me to consider it…. I feel very settled with my home stay family and am very much comfortable and happy living here. In comparison to home it is so peaceful and life is very simple but pleasant. Looking back I think the start was very rocky and unsettled, but I guess that was due to some events that happened and I put it down to bad luck and experience. As soon as I was placed into Mama Aichee’s home that’s when my stay in Tanzania really took off. I look forward to coming back from work and seeing Mama and the guys, coming together to cook dinner and sit down together and talk for hours till its time for bed. I have gotten use to staying up and talking to mama , we strike up conversations about experiences, differences, culture, love; current affairs etc there are no limits or boundaries. I find it fascinating hearing about the cultural differences especially. I absolutely adore the woman; she is a remarkable character to say the least. She’s compassionate and caring, witty, ridiculously intelligent and knowledgeable and soooo energetic it’s untrue. Sitting here now and thinking about my return flight home makes me feel a little sick as this family has become very special and close to me. I don’t know why as I have missed my family and especially Sid, so although the thought of seeing them again really excites me at the same time I also feel very sad in knowing it could be time to say bye to them. Deep down I think it was really weird having a mother like figure back in my life, after losing mum I have got use to not having a relationship like this, not even with my step mum who is someone who I see as a friend and definitely not a mother figure. But Mama Aichee has embraced me with open arms and an open mind, I couldn't’t have asked for anything more. For the last 7 years of my life I have tried and found a way of coping with the void of not having mum around, and no knowing no one could ever replace her. But having someone who is like a mother like figure has made me realised just how much I’ve missed and needed mum around even if I was a young adult when I lost her. But it’s made me feel very fortunate to have formed this special mother-daughter kinda relationship with her, regardless of this being my home-stay family in Tanzania. I know my time is drawing to an end and the closer I get to her more difficult it’s going to be coming home and for this to end.
I have enjoyed my role on the work projects and it feels so natural like I’ve found my sense of belonging. I was trying out so many things in the last 18 months trying to decide what I enjoy the most and what makes me content. This makes me content, but at the same time I have a family and an amazing circle of friends back home. I’m just not sure if this opportunity has come at the right time or place for me, I have an element of doubt and my gut instincts tend to be a sign. So some decisions to be made.
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